I swear god or herbie drove my car home
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
