I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
