therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
