Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
