I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
