He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
