you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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