I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
