i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
