Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
