Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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