You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize