i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
