I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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