I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
