I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
