hotel room ftw
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
