Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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