It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just pee around me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
