Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
