ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
