someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
