never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
