I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
