We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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