Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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