its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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