idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
