It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
