Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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