Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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