I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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