i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder meâ€
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
