Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
