Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
