I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
jump out the window naked night went bad
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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