Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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