Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
