if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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