apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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