You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
