what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
