I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
