He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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