They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
