Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
