we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
