shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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