if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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