She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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