I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I can't turn off my feet"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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